As a youth, it can sometimes feel as if your parents have a choke hold on your life. As everything you want or do they want to know about and the reason why. Many youths complain that their parents do not respect their privacy. They say their parents do not trust them rather they are judge as guilty.

 The Reason Why Your Parents Are So Hard On You?

Some young people say that their parents’ fear of harm coming to them borders on paranoia. But what you must understand is that much time and emotion have been invested in you. The thought of you growing up and eventually leaving can disturb your parents – even though they know it is inevitable.

 Some parents thus tend to smother or to overprotect their children. It would be a real mistake, though, for you to overreact in turn.

 A measure of independence is fine, but don’t obtain it at the cost of your family ties. How can you set your relationship with your parents on a stronger footing, based on mutual understanding, tolerance and respect? For one thing, respect begats respect.

 Although, sometimes our parents err in their judgment. They still merit your respect. How do you then get your parents to give you more freedom?

 1. Respect them and you will in turn be respected. The fact that they may be the hard type is no reason to be rebellious. Give them the same respect you want for yourself.

 2. Obeying the rules and regulations given by your parents goes a long way in determining how you will be treated. Some youth sulk, lie or openly disobey. If you want permission to stay out late, don’t make childish demands or whine that “all other kids can stay out late”. Rather tell them as much as you can about what it is you want to do, so that they really understand the situation – if you tell them all about where you’ll be going and with whom and why it’s important to you to stay out late – they just might say yes.

 3. Prove yourself responsible. If you need more freedom then you need to prove to your parents that you are responsible. Take seriously whatever tasks your folks assign you. Convince your parents that if they ask you to do something, no matter how small, it is as good as done.

 4. Loosening the apron strings. Parents should be our confidential friends, rich sources of advice and counsel. However, this does not mean that you must rely on them to make every petty decision. So instead of running to your parents at the first sign of minor distress, try first to work out the problem in your own mind. Do some research, especially if Bible principles are involved. After calmly weighing matters, approach your parents. Let them hear the way you have reasoned the situation out. Then ask for their observations.

 Your parents now see you talking not as a child but as an adult. You have taken a big step toward proving that you are becoming an adult deserving of a measure of freedom.

Written by E Samuel [Ghana]